Microaggressions are verbal
communications that contain bias and can be the most psychologically harmful
type of aggression in that the perpetrator of these aggressions are usually
oblivious to their actions and the bias they present is subtle and invisible to
them (Sue, 2010). I have experienced
these types of aggressions my whole life and like to think I have a heightened
awareness of microaggressions because of this.
I had no idea they had a name.
A recent microaggression I recall was when meeting new
people with my dad and stepmother. My
dad is nine years younger than my father and I guess it is starting to show a
little. I’d never thought about it, but
they are obviously together usually holding hands or arm in arm. Despite this people often ask if I am my
dad’s wife. The context of this
microaggression has been come across in two ways. The first is the assumption that my
stepmother looks older, I am twenty years younger than my dad a relationship
that is much more acceptable in society…I guess. Either way I feel like they have assumed an
awful lot about my family and me. We all
always laugh it off, but I don’t feel good about that. The second context is that new people we meet
often think I am my dad’s wife because I am closer to the same skin color than
my stepmother. I am always more offended
by this one, but again we all laugh it off.
I guess I have always felt these things happen because of other’s
inability to ask questions appropriately before they assume, that’s what they
learned growing up, or just plain ignorance.
I am far from innocent myself of such transgressions I’m sure, but as I
have gotten older, more aware, and wise I commit them less and less.
Learning about microaggressions has made me even more
aware about societies views, beliefs, and prejudices as a whole and where many
of these microaggressions originate and innocently become what they are. Knowing this doesn’t make me feel that they
are anymore acceptable, but that someday they may not exist, though I feel this
may be a complete defiance of human nature, not that people are to sensitive
but that people care to little about others to care. I feel society is becoming so selfish.
References
Sue, D. W. (2010). Microaggressions in the everyday life: Race,
gender, and sexual orientation.
The microaggression you experienced with your dad seems to be a fairly common accordance, not that it is excusable. People tend to judge others by their outer appearance as well as how they behave. Hence, the reason why we as a society should work together as an attempt to become a more culturally responsive community. Thanks for sharing!
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