The
interactions and communications adults use with children are key in modeling
what appropriate communications look like, validating, and respecting children
for the individuals they are (Rainer Dangei and Durden, 2010). Understanding that children are individual
means that it is also understood that each child responds differently to
similar adult interactions and communications (Rainer Dangei and Durden,
2010). Simply put children should not be
treated or talked to like they are all the same and recognized for the unique
individuals that they are just like the adults around them.
I observed a toddler play area in
one of the local malls in the area. The
play area has cubbies for children to leave their shoes and belongings as well
as benches all the way around the inside of the play area to sit and watch
their children play and interact with other children. There are various animal climbing structures,
wall activity boards, and slides that encompass a variety of small and gross
motor skills. All the children seem
happy and vigorously engaged in their play.
Some of the children run off confidently to play, while others need a
little encouragement from mom or dad. As
I watched all the children I began to focus on a mother getting ready to
leave. She called her daughter over
(between two and three years of age) and said, “Are you ready to go? Its time to go.” The child immediately responded, “No! I am
not done playing!” The mother ignored
this response and said, “Get you shoes, it is time to go.” The child responded by screaming, “I’m not
ready to go!” She began crying frantically.
The mother seemed a little embarrassed and frustrated at this point,
picking up her child and walking towards the exit, the child screaming the
whole way. The mother grabbed her shoes
from the cubby, strapped her daughter into the stroller and asked her to calm
down and they would get a treat on the way out if she could calm down. The little girl stopped screaming as if
nothing had happened and said, “What kind of treat mommy?” They rolled off.
In order to make the interaction
more affirming and effective different language could have been used to change
the outcome of the entire interaction.
First I noticed that the mother gave her child a choice of being ready
to go or not that she was not ready to follow through with, thus causing her daughter
to tantrum. She could have said, “Its
time to go, lets find your shoes. Do you
remember what cubby you put them in? Can you help me find them?” If her daughter still chose to object with a
tantrum it would be important to acknowledge and validate her feelings,
understanding the situation from her perspective (Stephenson, 2009). A possible response could have been, “I
understand you are upset that it is time to go.
Would you like to come play here again?
Lets plan a time to do that! Remember we are doing something special or
getting a treat for home before we leave.”
I think adults and early childhood educators could avoid many adverse
situations with children if they remember to consider how the child feels,
acknowledge those feelings, and stay on task.
It is also important to offer children only choices that are available
in situations the adult is not willing to follow through with. When her child said expressed that she was
not ready to go, her mother could have responded, “Okay, five more minutes and
then it will be time to go.”
Watching children and their families
interact gives me insight into their culture and behaviors at school. When I witness interactions like this, I am
reminded of how important it is to choose language carefully when talking to
children, as well as how they may react or feel about the language I have
used. Nobody is perfect and we all make
mistakes. I think what is important to
remember in providing children with communications that are affirming and
effective is to learn from our mistakes, try new things, listen rather than
react.
References
Stephenson, A. (2009).
Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2),
90-95.
Retrieved
from the Walden University Library Portal
No comments:
Post a Comment